Happy Holidays, everyone!

1720_ElfExcited_23

INT. PEDIATRICIAN’S OFFICE – AN HOUR LATER

Buddy sits on the examining table as Walter watches.

PROP NOTE: Del Close’s skull sits on a shelf in the B.G.

Buddy reaches into a jar of cotton balls and starts eating them quickly one at a time. Like cotton candy nuggets.

WALTER
Don’t eat those.

Buddy goes to eat one more, Walter tries to grab his arm but Buddy fakes him out and eats it anyway.

BUDDY
Am I sick?

WALTER
YES.
(beat)
But that’s not why we’re here. We’re here to test whether you’re my son or not.

BUDDY
Why am I sitting on paper?

Buddy pulls the roll and paper spills out everywhere. The doctor and Walter try to stop him, but get tangled up.

DOCTOR
So it’s clean for each patient that comes in. Try to sit still. I’m going to perform something called a ‘finger prick.’

BUDDY
(happy)
Finger prick!
(to the Doctor)
Can I wear your head lamp?

DOCTOR
No.

BUDDY
Why?

DOCTOR
Just sit still.

BUDDY
Why is there a skeleton on the wall?

DOCTOR
I don’t know but there just is.

BUDDY
What’s his name?

WALTER
He doesn’t have a name!

BUDDY
If I squint, he looks like a pirate flag. Arrgh!

DOCTOR
Walter, I can’t do this if he’s going to keep moving around.

WALTER
I’m sorry Ben. Buddy! Please!

BUDDY
(whispering)
He got mad at me.

WALTER
Buddy the sooner you sit still, the sooner we can clear up this horrible mess.

BUDDY
After this, can we eat sugar plums together?

WALTER
Sure! We’ll eat sugar plums, and make ginger bread houses, and paint eggs!

BUDDY
That’s Easter not –

The Doctor gives Buddy’s finger a tiny prick.

BUDDY
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Buddy shoves the doctor over and stumbles around holding his finger and crying.

BUDDY
Boot straps! Snow flickers! Son of a cobbler!

From the screenplay ELF by David Berenbaum

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